Why caring less is the greatest act of self love

By Jessica Dewar

This may sound a little odd at first but bear with me. How could caring less be an act of self-love?

Have you ever stopped to think about why you carry so much emotional pain in your life? What is the cause of that pain? Hint – it’s nothing to do with anyone or anything out there. The problem is, we just care too much.

We have all been guilty of being overly reactive to silly situations. Someone looks at you oddly and suddenly you worry about what they’re thinking. Your husband goes to the shop and bought white bread instead of whole meal! How can he get it so wrong every single time? You find out your friends caught up for lunch last week and didn’t invite you. Now alarm bells are ringing and you’ve become paranoid that they spent the whole time gossiping behind your back, or you’re worrying that maybe they don’t like you.

This is an exhausting way of living. The constant worry about such insignificant matters is draining. It’s stressful and it’s certainly not contributing to a happy and relaxed life.

As human beings, we all have neurotic thought patterns. All of us. And these neuroses will stay with us for life. There is nothing we can do about that. They’re ingrained. But how we choose to respond to these thoughts is what paves the way for the life we lead. The reality is: life will always be a challenge. And we need these challenges to grow and learn; to become experts in our fields and to develop resilience, tolerance and acceptance.

Caring less is not the same as indifference. But by caring less about some things, you are allowing yourself to care more deeply about the things that truly matter in your life.

We need to be very selective about the things we choose to care about and the things we let go. If your husband gets the wrong bread, it’s OK. If your friends go out without you, that’s OK too. Try not to flood your mind with horror stories about what conversations may have been had behind your back. It’s not helpful and it depletes you – mentally, physically and emotionally.

SO, my challenge for you is to care less and love yourself more! Care only about what is truly important to you. The things that are close to your heart. The people you love and care for. The precious moments spent enjoying a cup of tea and a good book. Protect your mind from the unnecessary worry that takes from you, because at the end of the day, you only have so much energy and so much time to give. Spend it wisely.

About the author:

Jessica Dewar is a Melbourne based yoga teacher, and founder of the city’s first 100% donation based studio. Learn more at jessicadewaryoga.com