There is so much I don’t know about yoga and so much I feel I’ll never understand. There are parts I wonder if I need to learn and parts I wonder how to. I don’t do the vegan thing, not the vegetarian thing, not clean or raw or even organic. I love meat and wine and sugar, and believe ignorance is bliss. I don’t get chakras or meridians. Shy away from chanting and “Oms”. I’m terribly judgemental and unforgiving especially of myself, and when they tell me to wish peace and happiness on my mortal enemy, I wholeheartedly refuse. I’m not limber of mind or body, and am so unbalanced I cause others to fall. I have no clue what Namaste means or what an asana really is. And when I’m guided gently out of meditation – I’m usually having a tantrum in my head. But despite my uncouth, awkward, embarrassing yoga relationship, it’s raw, it’s real and I’m better for it. In fact it would seem I’m perfect for it. Without a doubt I walk away content, challenged and happier after each class.
Calmer and more in love with this yoga thing.
I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m not good at it. I battle with it and I get mad at it, yet, it would seem I’m becoming it’s number one fan. My panic attacks aren’t as frequent or severe, I’m not as frazzled or stressed, my back and bowels always thank me for it, as does my mind and soul. I cope better with life’s curveballs and I’m strangely more content. I’m mindful. I’maware. I’m happy. I breathe deeply. I self correct my negative thinking and my terrible posture without even realising it. It’s infiltrating my life like a disease, only it’s the best disease I’ve ever had! It’s spreading, it’s contagious, destroying burdens, tension and stress.
It lifts my heavy heart. It silences the relentless worry. And it energises my weary soul.
Like it or not, you end up standing taller, breathing deeper and walking slower. You see the fullness of the life around you. You can hear the distant song despite the roaring chaos. You
will love this minute. And this minute. And this minute. You will discover the hidden you. And you will like it. You will realise the most important lesson in life, and that is, that you are
enough. Even with your imperfections, failures past, present and all those in the future, you are enough.
So whilst I have a long way to go, so much to learn and so much to face. I know I have
so much to gain. And I’m thankful for this yoga bug, for latching on and accepting me. For
teaching me to accept myself, just as messy and complicated as I am.