As a fresh new year rolls on in, we are inundated with people sharing their goals, intentions, desires, words and resolutions all over social media and the web. It’s really beautiful and super inspiring, however I wonder how many of these goals actually manifest when they don’t come from a place of love.
When you set goals from the right place they are most likely to manifest. When they are not from the right place, they can simply cause more overwhelm and stress.
In January a few years ago, I sat on the beach with a good friend and shared with him how I had struggled to be present over the recent Christmas and New Year break. I confessed that my meditations had been very shallow and scattered, and that I had been in my head and feeling overwhelmed.
Watching the endless waves crash before us, and listening to his wise words, I finally got the perspective and “aha” that had been eluding me. All my New Year’s angst was because I’d been witnessing others set goals, choose words, and create lists as long as the Thames of what they were going to achieve that year, and I let it all creep into my head and sow the seeds of fear.
You can probably guess the sort of stuff my inner critic was saying. “Everyone else has such impressive, exciting goals — if you don’t come up with ones that are bigger and better, you’re going to be left behind.” In years past, I have set myself all sorts of crazy long lists of goals in order to feel worthy, and completely stressed myself out in the process.
This year, however, I am rebelling. I am going to shake things up and do this a little differently. This year I am not setting a long list of personal goals. My main intention is to be present. To live in the moment. I want to belly laugh every day with my boys and have at least one dance-off daily in the kitchen (costumes optional). I want to be free from the limitations I place on myself by listening to what my inner critic wants me to achieve and then beating myself up if it doesn’t happen. I will not subscribe to this paradigm anymore.
Instead I want to be all here. Fully and completely! Right now, in this precious magical moment —- the only moment we truly have.
The trick to manifesting your dreams is to not compare yourself and worry about what everyone else is doing, but to make sure you stick in your own land and that the goals you set are from the right place, that they are your truth and not just what everyone else is doing.
So, how do you know if the goals you’re setting are your truth and come from the right place?
Ask yourself this: “Does this goal make me expand?” When you think about what you want to achieve, do you feel your shoulders pull back, your heart open up and your soul tingle? Or does it make you contract? Do your shoulders slouch forward, your heart close off a little and your head feel heavy? If it’s the latter, then it’s fair to say, it’s not your truth. So pay attention. Notice how you feel and, when you are hanging out with your inner critic in Fear Town and head on back to Love City, call yourself out on it.
When you are goal-setting, make sure your intentions are coming from the right place — that they’re truly heart-centred, that they make you expand and pump passion through your veins. Make sure it’s your truth and something that you actually truly desire.
For example, last year I had a friend who set the intention to quit sugar. She stuck to her intention during January, but fell off the bandwagon in February and was beating herself up. I asked her if she really wanted to quit sugar and she said, “Well no, not really; I kind of started doing it because everyone else is.” I loved her honesty but, of course, her goal was never going to happen because she didn’t really want it herself.
Do you see the difference? YOU HAVE TO REALLY WANT WHAT YOU’RE GOING AFTER WITH ALL YOUR HEART AND SOUL.
In order to manifest what you want in 2017, you must set goals and intentions from your heart or don’t set any at all. You are here to be your unique authentic self and share that with the world. That is your mission — don’t forget it!
It’s also important to note that your dreams will change and evolve, and that’s okay too. Make sure to regularly check in with your goals to help you stay on track, aligned and on your path to manifesting what you desire. I have my goals written on a piece of paper beside my bed and I read them every morning and night before I go to sleep. This helps me stay on track. I also regularly tune in and change my goals. Sometime I achieve them earlier and I cross them off the list and other times I no longer want to achieve something so I change it up. It’s super important to be adaptable and tune in with yourself when you are setting goals because what you want today might change tomorrow.
Most importantly, when you are setting intentions for the year to come have fun with it. Don’t take it too seriously and make sure you dream big.
Melissa Ambrosini is the bestselling author of Mastering Your Mean Girl, a keynote speaker, entrepreneur and self-love teacher. In her signature straight-talking style, Melissa teaches women how to master their inner Mean Girl, smash through limiting beliefs, and ditch the self-doubt so that they can start truly living the life of their dreams. Her mission is to inspire women to create a heart-centred life that’s wildly wealthy, fabulously healthy and bursting with love. Check out more from Melissa Ambrosini at www.melissaambrosini.com